Marsy, Megan and misspoken words

Laws are in place to protect and inform; of your rights, limitations, boundaries.  They exist for the betterment of society, or in my cynical opinion, to punish the ones who won't break them anyway.

law noun \ˈlȯ\
Definition of LAW
a (1) : a binding custom or practice of a community : a rule of conduct or action prescribed or formally recognized as binding or enforced by a controlling authority (2) : the whole body of such customs, practices, or rules (3) : common law
b (1) : the control brought about by the existence or enforcement of such law (2) : the action of laws considered as a means of redressing wrongs; also : litigation (3) : the agency of or an agent of established law
c : a rule or order that it is advisable or obligatory to observe d : something compatible with or enforceable by established law e : control, authority

Gun laws, marijuana laws, breed specific laws. Who do these punish? The law-abiding citizens. Not the criminals, not the creeps and not the sociopaths.  They don't care. They'll never care about anything. Except themselves.

I've blogged before about the California Constitution and Marsy's Law aka Victim's Rights before.  They're put in place to provide information to the victim, make them aware of the status of a case and the status of the perpetrator of the crime that affected them.  They're long, they're involved and they're very specific.... AFTER THE FACT.

What is prompting this blog today is this article:

To read the full article text, click here

Even Megan's Law's website disclaims "Not all sex offenders have been caught and convicted. Most sex offenses are committed by family, friends or acquaintances of the victim."

I've written about this before too. The girlfriend of mine who was raped and murdered.  She wanted to be famous. She made the cover of People Magazine.  Just not the way she intended.

As far as I'm concerned there is no fine line between privacy protection and public knowledge of criminals despite Megan's Laws purpose which is for public safety.  People are not to use this when they are intending to employ someone; that is not the intent of the site.  The intent is for parents, like me, to live safely and securely and provide a safe environment for our kids.

Not many parents have kids that work. I happen to have an inordinate amount of friends that have kids that do.  We're just parents, like any other parents that nag our kids about their chores, their manners and their homework.  The only difference is that when we escort our kids to work we arrive under the presumption that our kids are working amongst trained and accredited professionals. Not registered sex offenders.

What's scary is when a story like this lands in our laps. You're paralyzed, you question your own instincts, your stomach drops, your eyes well up and anger starts boiling over.  HOW could this happen? HOW could someone not tell us?  HOW does someone who is a convicted, registered sex offender work? Not only how does he work but how has he been able to shoot TWO of my friends' children (probably more)?

There aren't many words to describe it.  You feel sideswiped, betrayed, misinformed, defenseless.  Okay so "nothing happened" but it did.  He lied. He found people to defend him with his lies. What innocent person doesn't defend themselves?

The worst part about the statement on Megan Law's website is how painfully aware I am of the truth of it. I'll copy and paste again:  "Not all sex offenders have been caught and convicted. Most sex offenses are committed by family, friends or acquaintances of the victim."

Yeah, well this is true, cause my husband pleaded to a felony in order to avoid listing on the registry; looks like the opposite choice was made by Mr. Chris Kilkus. So he claims he isn't one, my husband knows he is one but didn't have to list himself.  What GOOD is this information?  That's why people disclaim, disclaim, disclaim.  Sucks for Mr. Kilkus (whom I keep typoing Kilsuks, cause he does SUCK!).  I'm not making light of having child porn on his computer, but dude, listen, protect your own ass and be a fucking decent human being. If you're a great photographer, go work with grown ups or animals.. or fruit.  Quit jeopardizing everyone else surrounding you.  Quit making mothers second guess their own judgment and feeling like shit because this article came out and their children "just worked with (you)." What a selfish prick you are.


The bottom line is that as individuals and parents WE are the only ones responsible for our own and our children's safety.  I stated earlier on a thread on this article which I found on a photographer's fan page (huge kudos to her for posting this week old news), "I'd rather be called obnoxious for going overboard than ever risk the safety of a child."

Be obnoxious. Ask for references. DO background checks, although those do NOT show everything.  People will feel sorry for him, cause it was "just porn" but guess what?  It doesn't come down to the perverted freak's Googling habits, it comes down to misrepresentation, betrayal and LYING. You're a liar Mr. Kilkus. You deserve no sympathy. You should NEVER take a job working with children again (if you can even get one at this point).

I'm proud of this mom, the one referenced in the article, for saying something about it. Not standing by and it being okay cause, well, "he's a nice guy".  Well most sociopaths are nice.  That's how they get their next victims.

I've recommended this book before cause my best friend recommended it to me. Read it.

People who stand up for right and wrong should be applauded and thanked.  Not made to look "obnoxious, terrible or rotten".  She's a mother. That's her child. Don't fuck with her.

"You want to be a parent? Shut up and do your job." ~'Dr. Robert Romano' from E.R. (Oct. 18, 2001)

(Excuse my typos; I'm still recovering from head trauma).