Play by the...

Rule (noun)
An authoritative, prescribed direction for conduct, especially one of the regulations governing procedure in a legislative body or a regulation observed by the players in a game, sport, or contest. (excerpt from thefreedictionary.com)


The Cardinal Rule a fundamental rule that is in place in a certain situation; it must not be broken. (excerpt from Urban Dictionary)

And then there's the Golden Rule, the biblical teaching that one should behave toward others as one would have others behave toward oneself.
(excerpt from WikiPedia)

Robert Fulghum ingeniously captured the basic rules of life back when I was fresh out of high school:

"1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Stryrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.”(excerpt from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)

And then there's one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou; "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."

It's hard for me to separate my newly discovered Pessism versus a healthy dose of realism with a twinge of cynicism. Nonetheless I allow myself to consider the possibilities, continually jump into projects with both feet before checking the temperature nor depth of the water and have a hard-wired drive to give my all to things that feel right to me; to projects that move my soul.  A big payoff has never been my motivation for much that I do in life.  I am passionate, compassionate and a driven worker who didn't have an off-switch installed.

I'm the queen of quotes, among my favorites are...
"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it."~ Margaret Fuller 
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~ Confucius
"If you don't believe in your idea enough to get started, how can you expect anyone else to?" ~ Amanda Genther 

And I am the queen of encouragement, advice and free consultations.  I DO love what I do. I DO have knowledge to impart upon others. And I have also recently discovered (well not really "recently") that I suffer from being a Martyr - (noun)1: a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion (okay NO); 2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle (okay MAYBE); 3: victim; especially : a great or constant sufferer (No, not anymore).

A topic of discussion this week has been the definition of "success" which can really only be defined by each individual; no one can define success for you. Some consider success to be financial or monetary, some consider success as fame or celebrity, some consider success the recovery from addictions.  Although my bank account balance might not rank me on the Forbe's Magazine's list of most successful people, with all considered I am comfortable in my life as well as my life choices and would define myself as successful; I support myself and my three children financially, I provide for not only my children's physical needs but for their emotional and psychological needs.  I meet my own goals, have morals, ethics and convictions to guide my decisions and have designed my life around my family being first.  I am successful regardless of being broke.

So back to Amanda's quote: I AM that girl will believe in your idea.  I AM that girl that will help you get started. I have designed my entire business around my genuine enthusiasm of all things business - taking others dreams, goals and visions and brainstorming them into excited ambition.  Sometimes they fly, sometimes they flop but I know that I can be some people's biggest cheerleader.  But when do I become my biggest cheerleader?  At what point does the Martyr put her foot down at the risk of financial "success" when it doesn't fall in line with my personal convictions?


I won't bad mouth and do my best not to name drop; two characteristics in life that have gotten me where I am today.  Interestingly, just today, I secured a deal for someone simply because I come across to strangers as "trustworthy" which is something I took a moment to absorb and appreciate.  This isn't the first time I have been trusted by a stranger, in fact it happens quite often.  


What I believe has happened over the course of the past week is that I've come to realize that what I consider generosity in sharing my knowledge and skill set in a 'paying it forward' fashion is really the martyr part of my personality crossing over into my business. 

That stops today. Today new rules go into play.

"A successful (wo)man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
~David Brinkley.