... herein lies the problem.

It's official. I'm the mother of two high-schoolers as of Friday, June 15th.  Four more years to continue to raise, influence and guide them.  I'm not going to panic, I'm not going to panic.  I am fortunate to have two really great kids, I really am.  This week has been the busiest we've seen in a while and I had no choice but to step up and take on the business of getting two teenagers through their activities that filled up the week of their last days of middle school.  Both earned honor roll, both made many friends and for the first time since 4th grade they face attending the same school again in the Fall.  I'll save that subject for another blog but if someone could just tell me... how does THIS happen?!



I'm not sure who coined this phrase but 'the days are long, but the years are short.' Ain't that the truth!

So I bought a car this week and I'm pleased with my minor upgrade; five years newer, fully loaded (at least someone thought to get every possible extra when this car was new), working AC, and it's the wagon that I really wanted in the first place but didn't get back in December.  I chose to name her alone this time putting careful thought into the legacy it might bring with her.  We brought Wilma home and I chose the name because of its meaning "resolute protector."  I swear by Volvos now and considering this car will be responsible for keeping my two teenagers safe in a couple of short years, there was no other choice for my family.  When buying a used car, you get what you pay for and you've got to be ready to immediately deal with the issues and reasons the person sold the car to you in the first place.

I won't be able to visit with my father today, Father's Day, because my "new-to-me" car requires new tires. I knew this when I bought it and made adjustments for that during the agreed purchase.  I just haven't had the time to get this small, but time-consuming, task accomplished this week with all the extra activities, taxi duties and extra meetings I squeezed into this week. I can't be everywhere at once, and I can't be everything to everyone.  I adore my family, but it's my responsibility to transport these kids safely.

So with my new schedule of not darting about every hour or so, I have finally gotten the chance to take the time to move into my home.  I know I've lived here since November, but we simply landed and still have boxes and bins who need a space within this house.

With just one appointment walking distance away and a needed break anyway, I took Lucas over to his dance team auditions.  I have to say, going into his fourth year of dance, I think when it's his turn to promote from middle school to high school, we're going to be looking at performing arts schools.  You never know who you're going to give birth to and if you guide, encourage, teach then stand back and watch them shine, parenting can be one of the coolest endeavors you take on.

Today I began with the kitchen. I've always said 'you've gotta make a mess to get something really clean' so I did.  Emptied every cupboard, every bin, every drawer; washed, scrubbed, organized, threw away, and discovered - I was wondering where the hell my medicine cabinet contents had gone!!

It won't stay this clean for long and if you look closely you can see my purchase I made the point of fitting in this week: white sage and candles.

You see I wasn't just cleaning, I am cleansing.  Ridding my home of anything and everything that belonged to "him."  Emptying his presence from my home. Not just "his" presence but anything and everything that may bring negativity into my home.  When I moved, I had received a three-day or quit notice so there wasn't a lot of time to pack or plan an organized move. I simply dumped and ran since I knew I didn't want to be in "that house" any longer than I had to.  My lease was up, I fulfilled the terms of the contract only to be informed that it wasn't mine to fulfill, but his obligation.  I stayed in the house that I had blessed and slept in the room I had had blessed just to get the demons out of the environment from all the awful things that had occurred. To say I was pissed that I had no obligation to stay there past March 13th, 2011 was an understatement.

While doing research about expelling negative energy and re-reading my Feng Shui books, I knew I could afford a few minor purchases... but I'll tell you, when life gives you signs, you just gotta own them for what they are.

I haven't done anything with my sage yet, but the smell is nice and when the kids have asked me why I have a new hobby of burning candles I simply tell them "we are getting rid of ANY and ALL demons"... they may think I'm nuts, that's fine, I just don't want them to feel scared, at ALL.  I want them to understand my goal of bringing peace, harmony and happiness into our home. 

This is perfect for getting rid of Foul Spirits or Negative Energy in your house. Perhaps someone such as a neighbor or enemy whose energy you do not like has come into your house. Use this method to get rid of that energy!
…. Say out loud….. “Any and all Spirits and Energies that are not of the Light be gone, for you are not welcome here!” 

I have not had this house blessed. In truthfulness, I forgot.

What I love about summer is the lack of schedules, the long days of needing to be nowhere and having fewer commitments.  I've been waiting seven months to "move in" to this house and we began today.  What the kids saw today was a glimpse of the mom they used to know; the one who loved to decorate, to embellish and give warmth and personality to each of our homes.  There were lots of smiles and warm feelings and it hit me, as I painted the wall in the kitchen, that this is what makes our house a home.  Not the things in it, not the space we live in, but the feelings of normalcy - mom doing "mom's things."  This is the first time I've felt content in this home.  In every house we've lived in (and the twins alone have moved 14 times in their 13 years) I've always had one red wall.  Well I can't afford any paint, so I used what I had...



"You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right." ~Maya Angelou


Did you know frogs are considered a piece of Satan's idolatry?  I didn't.  Needless to say, "his" frog statues have joined the monkey at Fallbrook Waste Management... So I threw out a few household items, which felt somewhat silly.  But things can be replaced and it's about damn time we make some new, happy memories for our small, happy family.

"Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other.  It is the place of confidence.  It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts.  It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule."~Frederick W. Robertson