Stunned silent (but not for long)

Not much surprises me at this point in my life. I have sat in a cloud of depression and disappointment that I missed it.  That I thought I had become safer, that I thought my methods would protect me and my children.  What has been eating at me over the past 36 hours and has had me dropping f-bombs in my head (and online) is complete frustration at my inability to see this.  My radar is off.

"It's impossible to protect your kids against disappointment in life." Nicholas Sparks

The deal came with book deals, potential riches, residual income and a family-first stance in support of my personal beliefs as a working-single-mother.  I thought when I heard the news, that it was too good to be true, but instead went witn the theory of not counting ones chickens before they hatch. The opportunity to involve my kids in a work project.  It was perfect, ideal, everything I've ever wanted. I didn't permit myself to experience the elation, the excitement nor the "wow" factor that should come from hearing such incredible, life-changing news.

Good call on my part.

Recidivism is the act of a person repeating an undesirable behavior after they have either experienced negative consequences of that behavior, or have been treated or trained to extinguish that behavior.
Criminal recidivism is highly correlated with psychopathy. The psychopath is defined by an uninhibited gratification in criminal, sexual, or aggressive impulses and the inability to learn from past mistakes. Individuals with this disorder gain satisfaction through their antisocial behavior and lack remorse for their actions.... the real recidivism rate may differ substantially from reported rates. (wikipedia)

For every new client I take on, I do a basic Google search. Hell for every phone call I receive, I check out the number (cause if you've ever called me, you know I don't answer my phone).  I still have in place the call recording system that provided key evidence in the criminal case involving my ex last summer. I never cancelled the service.

So after investigating people, including photographers who request my son for test shoots, if I intend to do business with them, I set up Google Alerts using their names, the name of their companies and key words relevant to their industries.  I had no idea what information Google was about to feed me just about 36 hours ago.

I felt as though I had done due diligence. I even presented a synopsis and report on my opinion on how to improve your online presence.  How did I miss THIS?  How can I be so thorough yet miss something so HUGE?  Well, I did but now it sat right in front of my face. Now I had choices to make. I had to act.

I did. After taking the information that was dumped in my lap as well as my conscience, I proceeded to do more due diligence. No one ever wants to end up on the Megan's Law website but that's where my research lead. There it was. It wasn't just a sick, cruel, defamatory rumor. It wasn't someone else trying to bring him down. There were the facts in all of their glory.  I knew what I had to do as I wrote the Department of Justice with the information I had. I drafted a resignation letter and request for rescission of a contract that had 40 odd days remaining. I cited (1) non-disclosure of one or more material facts and (2) misrepresentation and gave the board members the opportunity to explain, which they did.  They knew all along and he has "their full support" to involve himself in illegal acts.  What part of "you're a registered sex offender so you are prohibited to be anywhere NEAR children" is it that ya missed in the sex offender manual?  And y'all picked this guy as the front man for a project that involves a "children activity area" on a weekly basis?  They are evil too.

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil... Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act."
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I removed any association or affiliation or support or remote involvement with this project that primarily revolves around children.  As the facts sank in the more sickening the feeling of the pit in my stomach became.  I could not in good, moral conscience be a part of this project for a minute longer.  So I stand to lose a couple thousand dollars. I couldn't stand to lose an ounce of my integrity.

Although registered sex offenders have a slightly higher recidivism rate than non-sex offenders, 8 out of 10 sex offenders were returned to prison for parole violations. (whatthefolly.com)

I don't care what the excuses are. I don't care what the extenuating or mitigating circumstances were.  People who behave badly are on that list for a reason.

Calls have been made.  Reports have been filed. Unknowing participants have been informed and it's not my responsibility to monitor the choices they make once they have the information I discovered simply by setting up a routine client account.

I refuse, for any amount of money or promises of riches and idealistic lifestyles, to sacrifice my values nor turn a blind eye to evil once it's exposed.  I can sleep with a clear conscience tonight.

I am mother first. Period.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” ~ James Baldwin